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26-Feb-2020 15:43

Here are five deafening voices we need to defy when we’ve been dumped. For those whose sin weighs on them, who know with friendly familiarity the voice of the accuser, it feels impossible to disbelieve the lie: “God is punishing me for sin.” Being broken up with can have the same effect as a bomb — it can create a ringing in our ears, so that we cannot hear the voices of those who love us; even God himself.

“They were right to dump you.” “You’re ugly.” “You’re insufficient.” We take metaphorical sharp objects and jab ourselves until we’re too numb to cry. They’re now an emotional intruder — by their unwelcome departure they have made themselves unwelcome ghosts in our hearts. And it’s all my fault.” Even more frightening than being dumped is the prospect of being alone forever. “Of course,” you think, “If I’m unlovable, no one will love me.” If someone would dump you, then everybody worth being with will inevitably do the same — so the voices say. But just because it’s hard to hear, that doesn’t mean the love isn’t there.

Sometimes this means that breakups are even more difficult (something deeper is at stake).

Even so, the good news of God’s deep love for us inverses the weight of lost superficial dating relationships. When life is lived between 1 and 10, there is no room for God’s grace.

“I’m fat.” “I’m not funny enough.” “I’m not good enough.” We compare ourselves to others. “I lost my shot at being happy.” “Nothing can overturn this feeling.” There is no bodily location of the despair. Being broken up with is like getting dropped in a maze, and always ending up at the same wall: rejection. Here are five truths to revive your hearts from the haze of being dumped.

It’s not unspiritual to need the love of friends and family to heal — in fact, it is the way God made you: “Love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another” (John ). I won’t ask you to believe you are loved, because I don’t know your story, your childhood, or your deepest feelings of pain and betrayal.

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