Hearing people dating the deaf
“My experiences with the dating game have been quite disappointing and disheartening, to be honest,” says Irena Farinacci, 45, who has profound hearing loss and who says she hasn’t dated seriously in the past four years.
“The biggest challenge is how women react when I explain that I have hearing loss.
“I don’t enjoy going to bars because the loud noise gives me a headache, or any place that has me having to talk over the noise to the person I want to talk to.”Sometimes struggles with dating and sex are due to simple missed cues.
Jerry M., 43, also struggles with dating while being hearing-impaired.
I circled her hips before settling myself between her thighs. When you have hearing loss, as I do, sex is always a gamble. Moisture can damage hearing aids or break them outright. Mine were ,000 and they were on the inexpensive end. To lose something as familiar as a sense, even partially, alters everything. And not only is that number growing, but our noisy world is affecting younger and younger people.
Then, in a moment I had been dreading secretly for months, she clamped her thighs around my ears, which caused a piercing shriek to burst forth from my hearing aids. A pair can cost upward of ,000, and they are rarely covered by insurance. I tell people I’m shy, but I don’t know if that’s even true. Among 12- to 19-year-olds, researchers estimate some 17% show evidence of noise-induced hearing loss in one or both ears.
Because there’s so little information out there for younger folks, I asked others who are deaf or hard of hearing to share their experiences with me, and this was their advice.If it’s important enough, I know my partners will repeat themselves.I accept the loss of these intimacies with the same quiet resignation that I accept the loss of my hearing itself. Deafness is considered an “old person” problem, even though nearly half of the people with hearing loss are under the age of 55.
This is due to a few reasons: Hearing loss is often gradual and slow.Imagine the initial shock on my face after entering.”Muro mentions a time that her hearing failed her on a date in a way that made her feel “like a creep.” She says: “I went on a date with a woman I met online. At the end of the night, as we walked out [of the restaurant] we hugged and then she kissed me. I quickly figured out that I was not being invited back to her place. apologized profusely.” Muro says they went out on several more dates, but that she now makes “a point to make sure I understand exactly what is happening by asking and checking in.”While innocent mistakes can and do happen, even to the best and most compassionate and respectful among us, there’ve been times when my hearing loss has landed me in scary situations.