Roles in dating
Let’s take the roles of mother or father, for example – these are archetypal roles which encompass a large range of possibilities and there’s no need to try to perform them all fully – other people can be asked to do that.
Sometimes, if somebody wants to perform one role completely, it can “suck them in”. If we try to perform 100% of it, we will have no energy left for anything else.
If we long for a sense of safety and can only give ourselves sex, then an important need of ours is going unfulfilled.
We are not allowing ourselves to enter into that role, so the role starts to seek its own fulfilment in various strange ways, and this creates suffering for us.
For example – if a woman is very focused on the role of wife, on ensuring stability in her relationship with her husband, taking care of the house, etc., then she is less able to focus on her relationships with her children, for example, or on the role of lover or friend.An interview with Joanna Dulińska, psychologist, psychotherapist and supervisor at the Process Oriented Psychology Institute (Instytut Psychologii Procesu).