First the conversation veered to the fact that it's because I'm "extremely attractive" (his words, not mine) and not a lot of men will message me or message me back because of the intimidation factor (which I thought would dissolve over the internet, but guess not).
Then the conversation veered to the fact that I'm a virgin, and this perfectly lovely guy stated that even though it's not his opinion, a lot of other men steer clear of virgins because they don't want to "teach us" and because we appear pious and religious. Another guy pal told me that guys are confused that an attractive girl could ever be a virgin, and that since I'm such a baffling enigma, I am kept at arms length.
It’s a valid question, and sometimes I don’t have the answer.
I often think of him and our relationship and wonder what was holding me back. It was the beginning of my sophomore year, and I had returned to school with the idea of guys out of my head.
This fear has less to do with the specific act of having sex for the first time.
Yet many adult men continue to mistakenly associate the loss of virginity with the break-neck development of adolescent love, and in turn they run from their fear of becoming an older virgin’s “first.” You can’t do anything about these guys, and that’s not a bad thing.
It’s neither a characteristic to run screaming from nor one to turn into a fetish.
Yet older virgins also often worry if they don’t tell a man about their situation, then that man will freak out if she reacts in an unconventional manner to their coupling.
This is a good attitude for a man to have regarding older virgins.
It’s an attitude that acknowledges and shows sensitivity towards an older virgin’s situation without turning it into some big deal.
I’d be curious about her personal dating history and her attitudes towards sex and relationships, and I’d be curious about what she’s looking for in her first time.
Beyond that, whether a woman is a virgin or has had sex with multiple partners doesn’t make a whole lot of difference to me.
Whether that history is bare or bursting won’t make a whole lot of difference to a man who is, you know, actually a man and not trapped in adolescent concerns or games.